Funny Stuff That Sebastian Has Said Lately

1) His new way of telling Bethany to shut up is "Bethany, hush your body up!".

2) After begging me to DVR King Kong (the one from a couple years ago that's 4 hours long) and getting about five minutes into the movie "Sooooo, when does King Kong start killing people?".

3) "Mom, you're pretty as a butterfly!"

4) When I told him he couldn't have any more Ritz crackers, he said "Please!!! CRACKAS!!!!" and it sounded so much like Dave Chappelle's "cracka ass cracka" bit that I could NOT stop laughing. Now I always get him to yell "CRACKAS!" if he wants something.

And now, for the latest addition to my "Worst Movies of All Time" list...

Seriously. This movie is shit. Warning: spoilers ahead. If you haven't seen this movie and you want to (even though I'm telling you it's shit), don't continue reading. Horrible things about this movie:

1) Nothing makes sense. You know that feeling of watching an awesome movie where everything seems kind of unrelated, but it all comes together at the end? Yeah, this is like that minus the awesome and the coming together at the end thing.

2) Everyone good dies. No kidding. The main character, his wife, the good guy that's looking for the bad guy, miscellaneous peripheral characters that are totally innocent bystanders-all dead by the end.

3) The bad guy (Javier Bardem) is frightening. Seriously, his facial expressions are like something out of a nightmare. I'm sure it's all good acting, but still...scary.

4) The bad guy doesn't even get caught. Or killed. Or anything. He just disappears into the ether or something.

5) The movie ends VERY abruptly. No resolution. No summing up. Just a rambling monologue by Tommy Lee Jones about a dream that he had and then BAM. Roll credits. WTF? Seriously, WTF?!

How could anyone have given this movie a good review? How did anyone like it? Justin and I were honestly pissed when it ended. When the last scene played and the credits started rolling, we both just looked at each other in this stunned/angry way and said "WHAT?!". Still, though. If Justin would have just listened to me and gotten There Will Be Blood instead, we wouldn't have had to sit through that travesty.

J is for Julian

Kathy is one of 2 really awesome women I've met on Etsy. We talk almost every day and she's so much like me, it's kind of scary. We talk about our husbands, our kids, our issues....and we laugh hysterically for about 70% of every conversation. She's an amazing mom of 2 kids. Julian (coincidentally, he has the same [not very common] name as my nephew] is 2 and he's her oldest. He has a speech condition known as Childhood Apraxia of Speech. There's a video here that explains this condition fairly well. Anyway, so Kathy and her husband have been doing signing with Julian to help him express himself until he's more verbal. So, I thought it would be cool to make Julian a shirt that spelled out his name in ASL or American Sign Language. Cute AND educational, right? So, here it is!


The shirt, in its entirety.



A close-up.



I thought it might be helpful for anyone interested in my process to see the freezer paper stencil when I peeled it off after the paint was dry. See all the holey bits? Every one of them is cut out with an exacto knife. You may notice there are some key parts missing. I'll get to that in a minute.


Alright, here are all those key parts. These are free floating pieces (known as islands) that have to be saved and attached separately. There were lots of them for this shirt. Lots and lots. And lots. I put my finger there so you could see how teeny tiny some of the pieces were.





So, yeah, that's about it. Hope you like the shirt, Kathy and Julian!!!

The lovely Bethany.......

Oh my gosh. Bethany's gonna be 10 on Thursday. I really can't quite believe it. Here are some pictures of her. She's growing up so fast.





On Daddy/Daughter Date Night:



Random cuteness:

So......yeah

I caved. I'm a sheep. I got a blog. Oh well. Anyway, check back here for crafty goodness, as well as my general trials, tribulations, and triumphs as a wife and stay at home mom. For now, I'll leave you with a story. So, for anyone who doesn't know (like, how could you NOT know?) I have 3 kids. Bethany is 9 (she'll be 10 in 3 days, eeek), Sebastian is 4, and Dorian is 13 months. Sebastian is my weirdest kid.....so far. Dorian's still pretty young, so we'll see how it goes. Anyhow, Sebastian's very weird, in an awesomely funny way. So, when he walked up to me a couple weeks ago and asked "Mom, guess what I found in my underwear?!", my inner thoughts were "Oh God", but my actual answer was "What, sweetie?". He answers, in a very appalled/astonished tone, "A HOLE!!!". Again, inner thoughts "Oh thank God", actual answer "Let me see". So, he shows me a teeeeeny tiny hole. It was about as big as a kernel of corn. Since he seemed so shocked at the idea of a hole in his underwear, I poked my finger in the hole and pulled until the hole was about as big as a silver dollar. His immediate reaction was one of surprised hilarity. He scampered off while yelling "Mom! Look what you did!!!". I convinced him to come back, saying that I was gonna look at it to see if I could "fix it". So, when he came back, I used both hands and totally ripped the hole until the entire right bottom half of his boxer briefs was dangling by a string. The underwear in question were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle boxer briefs=cute as all get out. Anyway, so he's got one half of them looking like bikini undies, while the other half still looks like boxer briefs. At this point, Sebastian, Bethany, and I were all laughing hysterically. I was literally laying on the floor, laughing till I cried. Partially because of how he looked, but mostly because of his reaction. He was jumping around like a spaz and trying to cover his "nakedness" (the only thing showing was his thigh), while laughing like a crazy person. So, I ran to the bathroom to pee (thank you 3 pregnancies for giving me the bladder of an 80 year old woman) and when I came back, Sebastian was naked. Bethany had convinced him to give her his underwear so she could take some scissors to them. So, she hacked them up and gave them back to him. I got pictures.

P.S. Sebastian punished Bethany by rubbing the cut off pieces of underwear all over her face.
P.P.S. I totally photoshopped all of the stains out of my carpet.



Here's Sebastian's first reaction to putting on the chopped underwear. His exact words were "What the...........?!". Note the underwear scraps that were left in his wake.

Covering his face. The shame. Oh, the SHAME!!!

Getting all sumo up in this motha. Dorian was looking at him like "What the hell is he doing?!"